Why am I still here?

A lot of time has passed since I last posted something and needless to say life has been a bit busy. Not only do I have an energetic and spontaneous three-year-old, my church has been going through a lead pastor change through since November 2018. I spent a year as the only full- time staff member at my church.

Throughout that year there were some ups and downs, as there are with any job. There were some relationships that needed to be healed and some forgiveness that needed to be sought, and just some over all healing that needed to take place. Throughout the past year I got asked one question a lot in one way or another. The best way I can phrase the question is this, “You’re going to stay on as the youth director?”

Now this question was never asked with any ill will, and in fact I completely understood why they were asking. What the mode of operation usually was, was that when a senior pastor would leave, the youth pastor wasn’t far behind. I completely understood why people were asking me this question.

I never really thought anything of this question. To be honest, I always responded in a way that who ever was asking knew I wasn’t planning on going anywhere and once I had answered said question, I just went on about my day never really giving a second thought to the question. That is until someone else asked me a similar question that has stuck with me since the day it was asked about a month ago.

I was asked, “Why are you still here?” This question came after a conversation about my ups and downs in the past year and some of the internal battles that I had faced in the last year. To be honest, I had never really given much thought to why I was still at Community Grace. I just knew I wanted to be here and never really thought about why.

After the conversation had ended, I took some time to really think through why I was still here. Why had I not pursued other opportunities? Then thoughts of “had I missed my out?” “Was that my chance and I missed it?” came creeping in. But then as I was looking in scripture I came across Colossians 3:23-24 that says “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.”

It was after reading this passage that it dawned on me there was a reason why I hadn’t thought about why I was still at Community Grace. That’s because the Lord gave me no reason to want to leave. I had a moment of panic where I thought maybe I had missed the Lord opening a door in the past year, but as I looked back on the past year, I realized He did the exact opposite. The Lord gave me every reason to want to stay, and I can say with out a doubt that I want to be at Community Grace now more than ever.

This past year, the Lord has shown me what good can come out of his people coming together and seeking the Lord’s will for their life. Matthew 18:20 has never been more alive and real in my life than in this past year as our family at Community Grace has grown stronger and more in love with Jesus as we have walked through this process. I have loved watching that happen.

In man’s eyes I have already “served” my time as youth director/pastor at Community Grace. The average time of a youth pastor staying at a church is roughly two to three years. I am currently in my fifth year, so by humanistic terms/standards I have already “run the gauntlet” so to speak as youth director. I am reminded of that weekly by articles that I read on Facebook, in emails, and even people telling me that in everyday conversation. In those moments though I look back on Colossians 3:23-24 where Paul wrote, “Whatever you do, do it full heartily, for the Lord, and not for men.” The Lord opened a door that I wasn’t even expecting 5 years ago at Community Grace Brethren Church in Warsaw Indiana. He has yet to signal that he’s anywhere close to closing it. So, what does that mean? It means that’s why I am still here.

God isn’t done with Community Grace and He’s not done with me yet. I have loved serving the people of Community Grace, who so graciously wanted me as their youth director five years ago. I love being a part of the community of Warsaw and Winona Lake and I can’t see myself serving anywhere else at this moment. The Lord has continued to open doors to affirm that when he called me here five years ago. He absolutely had a plan for me and Alex here.

So, let me answer that question, “Why am I still here?” Because I can’t see myself anywhere else right now. I want to be here and Alex and I love being here. God is moving here and the people of Community Grace are the best people to work for. The community and love that they show for me and my family is outstanding, the way a church should function.

I always get the question; well do you ever want to be a lead pastor or not a youth pastor? My answer always is a shoulder shrug usually followed by a we’ll see what God has for me. I think that best summarizes why I am still here. This is what God has for me and I can’t picture my self-serving anywhere else but here at Community Grace in Warsaw. Our future at Community Grace has never been more bright, and has never looked better and I am excited to get to be along for the ride and see what He does with us in the future!

Abortion isn't the problem, Sin is

This week a very controversial bill was passed in New York regarding abortion prompting those who appose abortion to cry foul, and cry foul very loudly. So loudly in fact that I have felt a conviction about how those of us who are followers of Jesus are responding to abortion. This is not a post about me trying to change your views. I am not writing about why, I feel personally abortion is wrong, this is a post about how we as followers of Jesus need to watch carefully how we walk, but if you would like to talk about my personal views on abortion you are more then welcome to contact me.

In fact let’s start there, with how we walk. Paul actually uses this phrase in Ephesians 5:15-17, when he says, “Be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise. Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days. Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do.” Don’t act thoughtlessly actually means don’t make judgments based off of your emotions and the topic of abortion is an emotional trigger for people on both sides of the table. Paul understood something here about human nature that not many people understand and that is the nature to completely shut down when opposed.

Now if you have read any comments about the New York law that was passed you know that there are people who are not going to change their minds on abortion and I even have friends who are pro-choice that have very deservedly called out people who claim to be following Jesus but when I read their posts, it makes me question whether or not they follow Jesus.

My purpose in writing this is not to say we shouldn’t voice our opinion about these topics, because social media is a great place to share what you believe, but is also a place where one should walk carefully in what they say. As Proverbs 15:1 states, “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” I would argue that in many of our attempts to cry foul, we have stirred up anger and made following Jesus look like a judgmental pack of ravenous wolves ready to devour.

Now I want to also say that I recognize that in Ephesians 5 Paul does state that we are to expose unfruitful works, but he also states that we are to speak that truth in love in Ephesians 4:15. I feel like we have only heard the expose unfruitful works and we forget to speak it in love or we didn’t know it at all.

Again I am not saying that it is wrong to post our views on social media, but what I am cautioning us with is to be careful how we word it when we speak out, and with what conviction are we posting what we are posting. I have a friend who has had an abortion and I would hate to think that what I had posted on Facebook was seen to be in hate and not love. We must speak firmly against abortion and speak up for those who have no voice yet, we must speak up in love and not hate. If we speak up in hate we can count out any chance of having an edifying conversation on this very important subject. Remember abortion isn’t the problem, sin is the problem and I would rather take an opportunity to speak to someone to repent of their sin, instead of turning them away by posting something that comes across as hate.

I want you to hear this so as not to get confused. I hate abortion and believe that we as followers of Jesus are not to take abortion lightly or turn a blind eye to it, we need to speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, but we also must do it in love, because that person on the other side, who is pro-choice, needs Jesus just as much as you or I do.

We must do a better job of how we speak out against such sin as abortion. We must do a better job of walking with people through their struggles and turning them towards repentance. This doesn’t mean speak at them with hate, it means speak the truth in love and if they don’t hear it, we don’t speak stronger hate, we love stronger.

 My friend who had an abortion, is a follower of Jesus and was when she had her abortion. I know that she has struggled in her walk with Jesus because of some choices that she made and as I continue to speak out against abortion, am I doing so in a way that leaves the door open for those like my friend, to be able to come to me when God laid it on their hearts what they have done. Is the door open while they are still a mess or is it closed because I spoke out with hate giving no thought to the struggling.

We must speak in love and not close doors to walk with those who maybe struggling with getting an abortion or have gotten one. There are evil people in this world, ones who make legalize and make it easy for abortions. There are those who voice their opinions loudly on street corners and who will never have their eyes open to the truth of what is happening, but I am convinced that there are people out there who are pro-choice, who have had an abortion, who had they been walking with Jesus, or had their walk with Jesus been stronger, would not have made the choice that they did and I want to be able to speak truth in love to them instead of closing that door.

To end this, I say this. We must continue to fight for the unborn and give them a voice. We cannot sit silently while babies are killed without having that voice, but we must also speak in a way of love that does not close the door to someone coming to know Christ. It is a fine line, which is why Paul said, we are to be careful how we live.